stop asking for permission & just live your life sis
it's time to stop feeling guilty and book the flight
I think most of us will agree that we are in for a whirlwind of f*ckery this year. But we’re not here to focus on that. We’re here to focus on you boo. If you read my last post then you know that I gave some tips on how we can take care of ourselves during these challenging times. But I’m not gonna lie… sometimes life requires you to switch things up and be a little extra.
Extra for me means unapologetically booking a trip that I know will allow me to be delusional and blissful for a minimum of 3 days. At this point it’s a must to mentally check out every now and then. What else are we going on vacation for?
Nowadays it seems the reasons for traveling have shifted, due to the largely growing “travel influencer” culture. But quality travel experiences should not be focused on creating content, making other people feel like they’re missing out, or going to a beautiful island just to be on your phone the entire time. The purpose of traveling is actually the exact opposite. It’s about being present, exploring places you normally wouldn’t have access to, trying new foods, unplugging from the bullshit, relaxing or partying as much as you want to, connecting with nature and getting back to the true essence of yourself, aka your inner child.
That’s the thing about being a woman. Our identities are often mixed up with what we do for work, for other people, and for society. Oh, and of course what we can do for the economy, because women are the most targeted consumers in the United States of America. We’re constantly being judged for how we spend our money, but there’s always something being thrown in front of our face to make us want to spend: makeup, skincare products, feminine care, clothes, bags, household items, gadgets for your jobless kids, food, botox, another iPhone upgrade, etc. The list can go on; and it does.
How much of that stuff actually makes your feel good when you buy it? Like longterm. I’m always going to preach about the importance of investing in yourself, but only for things that will actually make an impact on your future. For me personally, I feel my best when I’m intentionally spending my money on these 3 things: food, wellness, and experiences. Everything else goes at the bottom of the priority list. I don’t care about the newest Telfar bag. I don’t care about an Apple watch. Just give me quality food, a really good fitness or dance class, and a flight to somewhere sunny. Hence why I created Real Hot Retreats. I knew that there had to be women out there who wanted to travel often, but maybe were afraid to take the leap to book a solo trip, or just had little knowledge of how to research, organize and make travel arrangements. That’s where my hospitality background, college degree, and passion for travel comes in.
Prior to taking my first solo trip to Arizona in 2021, I was constantly depending on others to travel: waiting for my friends to respond, waiting for PTO approval, or waiting for a “reason” to travel like a birthday or spring break. What if I just wanted to spend a few days on an island just to simply recharge my battery and learn about the culture? Did it need to be a special occasion to start planning for that? I decided that for me it didn’t need to be, and not for others either.
4 years later I’m preparing to host my 6th retreat, again in Arizona, and with even more intention behind it. While all of my retreats have been great experiences, I’d be lying if I said that there weren’t challenges and lessons learned. My greatest lesson has been understanding the importance of having the right group of people on these retreats. These experiences are special, intimate, healing and memorable. There’s room for growth, transformation, bonding, and real vibes only. And as I’ve transformed and evolved over the last few years, so have my retreats. So I’m really excited to hold space for those who really need it right now, and support them stepping into the next best version of themselves, unapologetically.
The Phoenix Rising Retreat (March 13-17, 2025)
If you think that pictures of red rocks are enticing to look at, then wait until you see them in person. Sedona is absolutely captivating and breathtaking, and you can’t help but to just feel a sense of calm as soon as you step on the land. The best way I can describe Sedona is like a perfect little town in a hidden desert tucked away behind a cloud. The culture is all about holistic wellness, mindfulness, spiritual connection, adventure and protecting sacred land. Sedona is no doubt sacred.
The Phoenix Rising Retreat is a 4 night transformative experience for those looking to find peace, grounding, healing, fun and self care. We’ll be spending 2 nights in Sedona, and 2 nights in Scottsdale, which is know for it’s trendy spots and wellness & spa culture. The itinerary includes various activities including yoga, hiking, sound healing, journaling workshops, and more. This is the perfect way to prepare for Spring Equinox and experience the collective energy from the lunar eclipse taking place on March 14th. Eclipses always signify transformation, growth, releasing, and new realizations.
Take a sneak peek of the general itinerary here.
The final day to book this retreat is February 9th, so go meditate on it and then drop your deposit when you’re ready to transform. The time to change is now, not next year.
The Goddess Retreat (May 7-13, 2025)
Let’s just be real: who couldn’t use a trip to Greece right now? Shiiett, we might be looking for another country to live in before 2029 gets here so might as well scope it out.
Ok but seriously, this is the BIG retreat for the year. I usually only host one international retreat per year, so this is it. This is a retreat exclusively for women who are looking to heal or connect with their feminine energy. On this trip we’ll learn what it truly means to tap into your inner goddess and adapt a “soft life”. Just think lots of fresh fruit, fish, boats on blue waters, fresh wine, dancing, and feeling the joy of simply just being a woman. You in?
We’ll be splitting our time in Mykonos (for fun, sun, vibes & dancing) and the hidden gem Andros (for authentic Greek culture, relaxation, rest & sailing). Registration is open until mid March and you can find all of the details here.
The Unmasking Retreat (August 8-11, 2025)
What if you were finally ready to stop performing for other people and simply just be yourself? As women of color, this is a feeling we know all too well. In a world where it can be “offensive” to others to speak up with passion or set boundaries to protect your peace, it’s crucial to find spaces where you can simply just… be.
With the next 4 years in mind when I created this retreat, I knew that women of color were going to need to really step up their self care game for the next year. To say that we’re just tired and over fighting battles that we didn’t create is an understatement. Black women especially need to heal. We need to find safe spaces within community. We deserve luxury, joy, self care, laughter and peace.
Seattle in the summer has been said to be one of the best places to be. With an abundance of outdoor activities and a welcoming slower pace, Seattle is the perfect location for The Unmasking Retreat. This experience is open to women of color and an application is required to book. If this sounds like something you’re interested in then fill out the application here.
If the start of 2025 is not what you imagined, and you find yourself falling back into limiting beliefs, negative self talk, unhealthy patterns, or even envy of what other people lives “seem” to look like on the surface, I want to invite you to tap into your inner child this week. How would they handle stress or sadness? Would they find pockets of joy, comforting activities or spaces to help them feel better? I want to encourage all of us (including myself) to give ourselves permission to be “childish” more often. Be silly on purpose, explore the unknown, PLAY, and keep dreaming of your future life. We’ve still got time to make this thing called life really count.
If you have any questions regarding my retreats, payment plans, room accommodations, etc. please reply to this or slide into my inbox. Thanks for reading this and supporting my creativity, passion and purpose. I hope that this year is your best one yet!
Stay well,
I love the messaging of this post - we (especially us black women) have to live.
Also I lived in Phoenix and Scottsdale for years - one of my favorite places!